Women & Affairs

Women and affairs don’t get nearly as much airtime
as men and affairs, but it’s a real thing!

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In the affairs department, women and affairs are gaining ground. Because of changing earning power and social norms women are having more affairs than ever before.

Therapy is the perfect place to explore the complex feelings that happen when you are having, or want to have, an affair!

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  We’re walking contradictions, seeking safety and predictability on one hand and thriving on diversity on the other.   — Esther Perel   

Not every situation is alike, but there are common reasons why women have affairs. Women can get pulled in a lot of directions. It can be hard to justify putting energy toward self-discovery or exploring what might makes life more meaningful.

Roles can become rigid, and this can begin to define who we are and we forget who we could be. Life is short.

It’s not uncommon to wake up in the middle of a marriage, in the middle of a life and say, “I don’t know who the hell I am anymore, and there’s got to be more to life than this.” Affairs can make a woman feel like she’s steering her own ship and has something that is ALL HERS.


Women who have affairs, or who are thinking about having an affair, are often struggling with feeling:

  • A lack of vitality, resigned to a life that doesn’t make them feel alive
  • Disengaged, unappreciated or unnoticed by their partner
  • Overwhelmed by the emotional labor in their marriages
  • Stifled by roles of mother or wife
  • Frustrated by doing the lion’s share of housework
  • Resentful about being in charge of the social calendar
  • Despondent, or discouraged by lack of agency


If you are having an affair, or are thinking of having an affair, there is a lot to unpack.

Therapy can be a safe haven to sort through what’s going on inside you. A place where you don’t have to worry about bias or the fear of judgment about who you are.

  In our efforts to protect ourselves from intimate betrayal, we demand access, control, transparency. And we run the risk of unknowingly eradicating the very space between us that keeps desire alive. Fire needs air.
— Esther Perel   


Focusing on yourself and doing individual therapy is one of the best ways to process conflicted feelings and explore hidden desires. Take a look at two of our therapists who work with women and affairs: Kristi Granacher and Angelica Belko.

You deserve some time to get more connected to yourself. Reach out to see what therapy can do for you!

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